Heath Shaw estimates he takes life seriously for approximately two hours every week, during the footy season.
That might be overs.
However, as his 300th game against Port Adelaide on Saturday night crept up on him in recent weeks, even one of the league's brightest personalities admitted he's reflected on his exceptional - and always eventful - career more than ever before.
Shaw's reputation as a jokester, his love of a good time off the field early in his career, and his fiery nature on it, might have overshadowed his achievements over the past 16 seasons.
But, there's little doubt he's one of the modern era's best small defenders, and a favourite son at both Collingwood and the GIANTS.
He told AFL.com.au that the milestone will be a special night for him and his famous family.
"You ride the waves year after year and all of a sudden you're 16 years in," he said.
"After my first two years, I got offered a one-year contract and I was lucky to get that.
"To go from that to where I am now, it's a fair journey.
"It's a pretty unique achievement and I think I'm a pretty unique character.
"I knew I'd play 300 games somewhere, but it was looking like it would be at Diamond Creek for a while there."
Heath Shaw made an impression for his 300-game press conference, rocking up in this ensemble.
Shaw was always going to follow the path blazed by his father Ray, brother Rhyce, and uncles Tony and Neville at the black and whites, but he looked anything but a future star when he played just six games in his first two years in the AFL.
He needed to make changes or watch his career disappear.
Somewhat surprisingly, it was the influence of Rhyce, and good mates Ben Johnson, Alan Didak and Dane Swan – who with Heath and Chris Tarrant, would later come to be known as the 'Rat Pack' - that altered the course of Shaw's life as a professional athlete.
"As much as they partied hard outside of footy, they worked really hard on the track so the gameday stuff looked after itself," he said.
"I didn't really have an off-season after 2005 because I knew I needed to get fitter and stronger to make it at senior level.
"I didn't get picked for round one in 2006 which was a slap in the face, but got picked for round two.
"I haven't been dropped since.
"That pre-season set me up to find the confidence that I belonged at the top level."
Belong he did.
Over the next five seasons, Shaw played 99 games for Collingwood and polled 28 Brownlow Medal votes.
The last two of those games were Grand Finals, the second of which the Pies won to claim a stunning flag over St Kilda in 2010.
Shaw said needing the two weeks to beat the Saints made the victory even sweeter.
"To win the premiership was the best thing I've done in my career and to do it the way we did was even better," he said.
"It was amazing to achieve something like that with some of my best mates and share it with my family, but the best part was waking up the next morning.
"I was fairly hungover, really dusty, and still in my club suit.
"I just remember thinking, 'I'm a premiership player' and it took that full 24 hours – and plenty happened in that time – for that to really sink in.
"The final siren was amazing but knowing that nobody could take that medal away from me, that's the feeling every player is striving for."
Shaw and his teammates would have been left with a far different feeling if the bounce of the Sherrin hadn't cruelly eluded St Kilda gun forward Stephen Milne in the dying seconds of the drawn decider.
"I think about the bounce a lot, and myself and (Milne's opponent) Ben Johnson talk about it a fair bit!" Shaw said with a laugh.
"Our lives would have changed dramatically if that footy had bounced differently."
Shaw's own place in Grand Final replay folklore also makes the 33-year-old chuckle.
The dashing defender robbed Saints captain Nick Riewoldt of a certain first-quarter goal in a piece of play some have described as 'the smother of the millennium'.
"I never thought I'd be remembered for doing something defensively, especially a smother," he said.
Like most significant milestones, Shaw's time in the AFL has been a mixture of great highs, and the lowest of lows.
He's a premiership hero at the Pies, and a club champion and dual All Australian with the GIANTS.
He's also been suspended by Collingwood for illegal betting and drink-driving.
Then there's the fact that Shaw has lived with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) for many years.
"I've had some fairly steep ups and downs and it hasn't been easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way," he said.
"A fair bit of it has been self-inflicted, maybe it's got something to do with the ADHD or maybe I just like getting myself into trouble.
"But I don't regret anything I've done even though I risked my career at times, because it's made me who I am today.
"It's been an adventure."
Shaw is the second member of the family to reach 300 games, with Tony's record of 313 in his sights.
"Playing 300 games is the most important thing in the short term but getting to 314 and beating Tony would be great for bragging rights at family functions," he said.
To become head of the Shaw family table at Christmas lunch however, Heath will have to play on into 2020.
He's confident he can do it, but he's still not sure he wants to.
"If you're in shit form and your body is falling apart then you know it's coming to an end, but I've put myself in a position where I have options," he said.
"Leon has told me if I'm fit and playing well, then he doesn't have to worry about me.
"He knows he can chuck me in a back pocket and let me go."
A decision on his future isn't likely to come until after the GIANTS bow out of this year's premiership race, but if he wakes up in his club suit the morning after the Grand Final this year, the call won't need to be debated any further.
"I've just got one more thing to top off my career and I can float off into the sunset," Shaw said.
"If we win the premiership you won't see me again because I'll be partying somewhere for at least a year.
"That would be a good final chapter for my book, I reckon."
