Saturday, I’d arranged to meet Ben at the Showground, I oiled Rita’s drive chain, headed up Canterbury Rd in Satdy’arvo traffic, riding a busy road with an ageing surface, most cars are monochrome these days, white, grey, black, maybe navy blue, the colourful cars of our youth were aspirational desires, today’s are base utility objects, grey 4wd in front barely moving, looked over my left, no, white 4wd coming fast, looked forward, grey beast suddenly stopped, I grab the front brake, Rita stops short, falls to starboard.
Huh? What the heck?
Woman in the grey came out to check, she was concerned and helpful, the bloke in the tyre shop came out and helped me get Rita back onto two wheels and push her to the curb. Scrapes on the custom paintwork, crack on the fairing, bent rear brake lever. Everything else seems in order.
Relax. Hit the starter button. Nothing. Neutral light on. Click through the gears, boys, click, click, click. Neutral light still on. Battery isn’t out, something electric is. The tyre shop bloke gave me a hand to push her around the corner to a side street with a long downhill stretch, but not steep enough to get enough velocity for a clutch start. At least she was away from the main drag. I parked her near a Coptic Orthodox mobile library and got a taxi home.
Guinness to cope with the trauma, flicked on the teev, GWS Monaros swiftly three goals up, yes! I went outside to listen to the call on 2SM cos I’m not allowed to smoke cigarettes inside. Oh no, scores got level too damn quick.
A neutral would say this was a great match, it was fast and open and. JC kicked one behind after another. We’d stretch out a bit of a lead and the Wiggles would drag it in again. I’d be watching it on teev, I’d get excited, then I’d get tense and go back out to the radio. Blessings be upon 2SM for calling the Monaros matches.
Again, Monaros forge ahead, three goals in the last. Again, Wiggles pegged it back. Scores level. Bloody hell, I can’t take this, I’m outside again, radio, Guinness, cigarette. Watching is too tough. Wiggles force it forward. A throw-in. Radio.
“There’s nine, eight seconds left. Throw-in… “NIC NAITANUI!!”
The excitement in the voice said it all.
Devvo: (n) abbrev - emotionally devastated – Aust slang.
If this column was a song, it’d have a really long break here, hanging on a suspended fourth chord, letting that tension ring…
Wiggles won by one point with a goal on the siren. Wiggles won by one point with a goal on the siren.
F’gaw’sakes, I used to be a Swans fan, and now those bastards from Perth are doing it to me again! This loss bugged me, really bugged me, like nothing since the ’06 Grand Final. Crikey, strewth, sacre bleu, it’s like being a Frenchman in the summer of 1940.
Sunday. I watched the replay of those last seconds. Several times. Heath would’ve had a few words to say, Leon even more. My Monaros should’ve swarmed on that throw-in, all eighteen players should’ve been there, especially in front. Nic had all the space and time he needed to kick the winning goal but he shouldn’t have.
Monaros win and the headlines would read ‘GWS prove themselves in tight contest’, instead it’s ‘GWS fail under pressure.’
Lotta talk about how Monaros are gonna be the next Hawthorn. This fan hasn’t bought into it. Shaw and Mumford are the two most important players in the team and have one or two seasons left in them. We should never have lost to Collingwood – the second and third terms, 15 goals to 3 or whatever, was unforgivable. Now we’ve blown another game we should have won and will, should the gods bless, play an Elimination Final at home.
Any Top Four chance would rely upon Adelaide, Geelong or Sydney dropping one of the next two and Monaros winning both. Hey, Melbourne could run over the Cats in the last round, Wiggles might do it to Crows. But you can’t rely on other matches going your way, you have to do it for yourself.
Still a GTS350 Monaro, but the carburettor is clogged, and the shocks need re-valving.
Earl O’Neill was born in Sydney, grew up around Bankstown and was the only kid in his class to know that there were two drawn Grand Finals in 1977. His preferred seat is about 10-15 rows back on the right half-forward flank at the northern end of Spotless Stadium. He also proposes to change the name of the GIANTS to the Monaros.
More GWS stories, and other fan-writing can be found on the GIANTS page at www.footyalmanac.com.au
